PICTURES-AT LAST

Early Doors


Barely light and the preparations begin.

The hair and make up specialists swing into operation like a well oiled machine.

The room door was usually closed so I had to tip toe in to get this shot.





Result

Maria, radiant from the necklace up. Pity I couldn't get the pink slippers in as well.

All on schedule so far.













Hanging About
Car and flowers a bit late in arriving so time for this pic of Maria and Dad, Roberto.

Car arrived eventually and so did the flowers and Maria left for the church at roughly the time she was due to arrive there!







MEANWHILE, AT THE CHURCH.

Kevin, Niall and Steve wait anxiously.


Kevin is working out how much the rings are worth if she doesn't show up.

Niall is wondering if he can get anything back on the suit.

Steve is in his favourite fantasy. Ipswich Town win the Premiership title.

At this time, I am still whizzing down the motorway at a speed approaching that of light, piloted by San Miguels answer to Buzz Lightyear, the lovely and fragrant Carola.


Something is stirring at the back of the church.

Is it a bird ? Is it a plane?

Noooooooooo!









It's Maria and Roberto.

Now tell me you you haven't got damp eyes at the sight of those smiles.








On the way in.







Now on the way out as Mr and Mrs.















Wonderful.



No caption needed for this one.


















LATER

Formal pics now.

Official photos not yet available so 'Thanks' to all who contributed their photos.







Happy Couple (H C) and Bro Niall.
Rings and suit problems solved.



Llanos'





H.C with Marias brother, Roberto and sisters, Carola (far left), Channy (next to Maria).
Channy holding her Alfonso, called Chanchito, and , l to r, Felipe, called Pipi, Francesco, called Pancho and Tomas, called, well, Tomas actually,
most of the time.



Sisters and bro again, sans children.














Mum and Dad

H.C. with Roberto and Maria Angelica, Maria Angelicas Dad and Mum. Got that?

Mamy Llanos make a mean bean and sweetcorn ' soup '. Delicious. Her palta is great as well and her lovely, strong, sweet, Cuban coffee is sufficiently like rocket fuel to keep you in orbit for an hour or two.





General shot of the feeding area.














H.C. feeding.














Cake Time.













So that is the church wedding hilites folks. The civil ceremony pics will follow sometime as will the 600 or so other wedding pics I have stored away.

Then we will start on the hundreds of pics of ststues!

Happy Birthday Karen. The compromising photos of you on the Non Stag Stag Night will follow, I promise.

WEDDING DAZE

Kippered by Blogspot

All set to flood the web with pics and flippin Blogspot won't upload!

Never mind, altho you will have to wait til Friday, at the earliest, for pics as I fly tomorrow, (in a Boeing), land Thursday and will probably be promptly hit by jet lag.

To bring you up to date in text only, K and M headed north to coastal La Serena this morning (Tuesday) despite K not being great and on anti biotics. He had had a sore throat on and off all last week but lasted til after Saturday and will hopefully be fit and well by the weekend when they fly off to Sydney and the Blue Mountains for 12 days.
Niall and me went out for lunch and are having a quiet afternoon. I am as packed as I can be having spent the morning today re packing what I packed on Sunday morning. As you do or, certainly as I seem to do. It will all be history tomorrow.

To make sure I don't leave anything on the plane this time, I am going to wear my multi pocketed shirt and trousers to travel in. It has so many secret pockets I feel a bit like Paul Daniels ready to produce a live rabbit.

If we have to land in the Atlantic I will sink like a stone.

It is start of term at the universities here this week. Tradition is to dress the new student in ragged clothes ( by slashing their own clothes which they are wearing!) and then pelt them with assorted unspeakables (i.e. paint, eggs, flour, vinegar, and worse, you get the picture). These guys are then sent out in the streets to beg for money for charity.

So if your fantasy is to be accosted for money by three 18 year old girls, dressed in ragged clothes and covered in a sort of pancake batter, this is the place for you today. Make a note in your diary for the third week in March 2008.

Still no joy with the uploads so I can do no more today.

Watch this space for loadsapics soon.

Get well soon Alfonso. He has bronchitis which in 30 degree heat can't be a lorraafun as Cilla would say, especially when you are less than one year old.

Smiley Alfonso will be appearing here soon along with gorgeous Mum , Channy, and handsome Dad, Pablo, and many other beautiful people.

As soon as Blogspot gets its act together.

Hope FM makes a timely appearance at Heathrow at 1335 on Thursday, complete with my fleece!

FULL TIME: RESULT!!!

Match Report

All married now, legally and spiritually.

Photos later, when Kevin shows up with a compatible lead.

Hair fine, make up fine, Maria looked a treat from the neck up. The dressing gown and slippers were a bit of a letdown at first tho.

Dress was superb, everybody all dressed up but nowhere to go! Car was late, flowers didn't arrive on time. Welcome to South America. Eventually Maria left about the time she was due in church.

I left with Marias sister Carola in her car. Carola did four left turns, made two agitated calls on the mobile and pulled up back outside the house. Essential baby supplies left behind I think.

Even later now of course. Definite smell of tension in the air. We touched 140 kph on the motorway into town, (limit 80) and hit Saturday traffic downtown which occasioned much muttering in Spanish. But we made it to the church before Maria who must have been touring Bellavista waiting for us to arrive. So I didn't get to do my paternal duty of welcoming guests to the church and thanking them for coming.

Niall and me had the equivalent of a private box, a small pew at the front alongside K and M. Two photographers roamed the church taking lots of pictures. The priest was a smiley man but went on a bit. The only word I thought I caught was ' pollo'. Somehow I don't think he said anything about 'Chicken". What he said, apparently, was that marriage is a serious thing and not liking your wifes hairstyle was not sufficient grounds for divorce. Lack of worldly wisdom there I feel as most husbands couldn't tell you the colour of their wifes hair, let alone comment on the style.

Anyway, we got to the actual wedding bit eventually and Kevin was word perfect even if only the priest and Maria and me, Niall and Marias parents in the private boxes heard him. Loud enough to get married apparently and rings were exchanged, bride and groom embraced as husband and wife and half the church burst into tears. I made the last bit up but I was a bit damp round the eyes so I guess there were one or two more.

Off to the reception in the VilmaBus. Vilma of the heroic efforts to get me a working mobile, volunteered to drive a mini bus and, as passenger of honour, I got the front seat with the best crack at the air con. The journey was supposed to be about 45 minutes Chile time, which means at least an hour and a quarter. Journey extended by Vilma making several tours of a gas station to find a pump she liked, then having to ring the hire company to find out where the fuel cap release was.

Refuelled, we progressed apace. As the road got steeper and steeper, apace sometimes became bpace and, now an then, cpace or dpace. When I saw snow capped mountains in the distance, I asked if we were bound for a ski station.

The place for the reception was superb. Big house with lots of grounds, loads of trees and palm trees, an orchard with limes, pears, a rose garden (bit of deadheading needed) and a shallow pool for the kids to lark in. The kids were great. After a few shy minutes, all mucked in and you hardly saw them again. Crazy Rodrigos' daughter was clinging to her Dads legs at the start. I saw her later in the pool beating up on the boys so well done her.

Food was good, fish and, of course, lots of meat. I had some salmon wrapped in chicken which was a first for me and very tasty too. Loads of pud, wine, pisco etc. All seemed to enjoy it.

Will get this on the web now so you get something today.

Second half of the second half to follow.

HALF TIME

First half over and I have a new daughter in law. All went well, the new table seats 16 with ease.

Loads of pics but just a few for now.

All went well.

Nuff said.

Out since 7 am so but cream crackered now. I knew I was in for a serious day when my guide spotted a pygmy Austral owl from the street outside Marias house.

65 different species spotted and a good fish lunch. My face is the colour of a well smacked bum as, although there was no sun and I was creamed up, I am now wind burnt. Tomorrow I will look like a tomato in a suit. My guide was like a Humvee on long French legs. Loped along at a cracking pace over all types of terrain. Thats why I am creamed.

Last min stuff tonite. Getting all ready, whizzing about with big white dresses and the hairdresser arrives at 8 am. Not for me obviously.

Saturday A.M

All whizz this morning. Cars cleaned inside and out. Bathroom in constant use for showers, small boys (3) buzzing about, hair and make up being done in the front room. Im keeping well out of the way. Gates open at the church at 1145 for a 1200 kick off. Post match celebrations from about 2ish til 11pm. Suit jackets and ties not expected to last much longer tham the post match press conference and pics as 33 degree temps forecast. Might have to wear my big hat as I got a bit wind burnt testerday.

TO HELL WITH EASTER ISLAND

THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT

Easter Island can wait. It has been there for 3 million years so my blog about my trip there can wait for a few days.

Well it is Wedding Day Number One today. This is the civil ceremony. The equivalent of the Registrar is coming to the house for a 6.30 kick off. The first half, the ceremony itself lasts about 20 minutes.

The second half, barbecue and alcohol, will go on for a bit longer. I am off to the coast birding tomorrow and my guide is to pick me up at 7 a.m. So it is handy that I am staying at Marias house as I mean to be asleep by 11!

The pace has been accelerating over the last few days. Maria appears to have had a top to toe 12,000 mile, service. Full facial, dress rehearsal for the hair and make up, manicure, pedicure, the works. So all the visible parts are sorted and , I suspect some of the invisible parts also. Nothing has been said about colonic irrigation but, hey, would you? I have my suspicions.

Even Marias engagement ring has been professionally polished. K went to pick it up this morning and the shop was shut. I didn't mention that to Maria.

Kevin has had his hair cut.

Again.

As it is the second cut in 3 weeks, nobody noticed.

Suits are pressed and about 10 shirts ironed at the laundry shop round the corner. I went to collect them yesterday. On the way back I started laughing at some of the expressions on the faces of passers by. Then I realised that if I had seen white haired, fat gringo, in a Chile football shirt and shorts with glowing white legs poking out, carrying 10 shirts and a suit in poly covers, he would be in my blog like a shot. Look out for me on Blogspot.

Niall has bought some new brilliant white trainers to wear with his grey linen suit at both ceremonies. I kid you not. I am seriously thinking of wearing my Chile football shirt and flip flops with my suit on Saturday at the church.

The house is being spruced up by Roxanne, who is Felipes ( Marias sisters son, do try to keep up!) nanny and Guadeloupe, who has been drafted in as additional hands.

Roxanne has shelled a ton of beans already, there are two sides of salmon and a cow or pig load of ribs defrosting in the sink to be ready for the barbeque after the ceremony. The barbeque has "BIG BEEF" as a model name. I suspect a clue there. Bottles of champagne are cooling and the 4 bottles of Pisco Sour have disappeared from my room. Oh Boy!

Marias Mum and Dad and Maria herself have disappeared to do useful things and I have caught up with my ironing. Outside in the shade. Much to Roxannes surprise I think as I don't think she had a great deal of confidence in my dexterity with 'la plancha'. Hey Baby, I've been ironing since I was at school. Not play school obviously. Anyway she asked me if I wanted to do her ironing as well so she must have been well impressed.

The rings are collected and they fit. Minor crisis with the printer for card printing. He lost the original draft. So, in true Chilean entrepreneurial style, just did nothing. Maria rang up to be told there were no cards printed and this just the day before yesterday. She hung up on him in mid call and promptly burst into tears.

Seating plans are finalised (at least until someone else drops out or wants to bring their maternal grandmother) The tables are called mainly after places K and M have been. Birmingham, London, Paris, Liverpool, places in Chile etc. Kevin has put his mate Thom (a big ManU fan) on 'Liverpool". Just to piss him off! There is also a table called ' Castledermot', the town in Co. Kildare where Pauline was born.

Nice one Kev.

K and M also had a row in the BIG CAKE shop. So pre nupts seem to be proceding normally. Rows and tears, pre hitch, seem to be par for the course.

(Remember that do you Chris and Liam? I do)

So that is the state of play here in San Miguel, Santiago as at 13.09 Chile time. You lot will be thinking about your tea I expect. I have had breakfast and Guadeloupe has just brought me a cup of tea and a chocolate covered sponge finger. I think I am well in there.

OK folks that is it for now. Next blog maybe Sunday as it is full on from now, or maybe not even til Monday.

PS
1. The good news is that K and M have had flights for Austrailia confirmed just yesterday and are off there for 12 days, a week on Saturday. Hotels are booked and all is well on that front.

2. Check out The Cheese Empanada, link on this blog, for details of Kevins 'Non Stag', stag night.

Off to choose shirt and tie combo for this afternoon. The cream or the purple? Or maybe the white with the creamy brown stripe?

Will probably wear the suit jacket for all of 30 minutes (ceremony and pics) and will possibly change trousers as well if Felipe gets a bit flighty with the barbecued ribs.

Luv To All

Especially the pregnant ones.


Tracy, are you non pregnant yet?

RAPA NUI DAY TWO: Part One

PUKAO

First stop today was the pukao quarry.

Pukao isn't a 'where' its a 'what'. You might even call it a top whot as

it is the red cylindrical top knot that you see on some moai.

True to form, the Rapa Nui chose to use stone from a quarry kilometers away from the coast where nearly all the ahu and moai are.

At least they made them in a cylindrical shape so they would roll.

Longest trip, about 12 km.

This is the quarry they came from. It is the only outcrop on the island of the red stone used for the making of pukao.

Some pukao, of course, didn't make it as top knots. The British (yes, we were there, poking our Imperialist noses in), who introduced sheep to the island, hollowed out some of the cylinders to use as water troughs.

One hopes they hollowed out loads of them before they found out the rock was porous!

The view from the quarry?

Tell me that doesn't look like the Long Mynd?

Not surprising really as they are both igneous and/or volcanic.

In fact, Rapa Nui was originally three small islands which were joined up over 10 million years and 3 million years ago by two humungous volcanic eruptions to make one bigger island.

ORONGO

Orongo is aa recontructed village right on the coast. No 'aa' isn't a Rapa Nui name. It's a typo error. As may be 'Orongo'. You may never know. This is the village associated with the Birdman ritual. It is backed by a mile wide crater.

What used to be in the crater is now all over the island. This was one of the volcanoes that erupted made three little islands into one.

After the eruption, the crater filled with fresh water and is fed from underground springs.

So the Orongo residents, in effect, controlled a lot of the fresh water supply for the island.

The fruit and vegetables that still grow on the crater slopes were another bonus as were the reed that grows on the water surface. The reed is used for boats, ropes, thatch etc.

Add the fish from the Orongo coastline and the Orongans were well minted.

Their houses are pretty solid, about 5 feet high with walls about 3 feet thick. No windows so it must have been pretty dark as well.

The doors are titchy as were the Orongans. You enter on your hands and knees. If an unwelcome visitor tried to sneak in, he got his head stove in when it popped out of the tunnel on the inside.

On the other hand, sneaking out for a night time pee could also prove fatal.

All the Rapa Nui were tetchy and scraps were common ranging in scale from 'Neighbours from Hell' to 'All Island Punch Ups'.

So you had secret caves to hide in and defensible houses.

THE BIRD MAN RITUAL

Orongo was also the place that the Bird Men went through their paces.

After decades of slaughtering each other to establish supremacy and establish the right to have

your own 'Jack The Lad' as king, a more democratic, less brutal method of choosing a king was dreamed up.

See the two islands. In Rapa Nui, they are called the 'Big Island' and the 'Small Island'.

The rock pinnacle has a name too.

Probably 'The Rock Pinnacle by the Big and Small Islands' or, just possibly, 'Thor Heyerdahls Willy', but that would be too much to hope for and probably historically impossible..

Anyway, each candidate for King nominated a champion to do all the hard work for him. Big Eared Princes do much the same these days.

At a given signal, all the champs climbed down the cliff, dived into the water, swam the mile or so through shark infested waters to the Big Island and then....... and then.......

Hid in a cave!

No, the last one to be found by 'It' didn't win.

They hid until the frigate birds arrived to breed, as they did every spring, around October.

So swimming to the island in May, to beat the rush, wasn't such a good idea.

When the birds had laid their eggs, it was time for action as the sponsor of the first champion to get back to the mainland with an unbroken egg became King of the island for a year.

Having got your egg and avoided being clobbered by the other competitors, how to get it back home in one piece?

Easy. Tie it to your forehead with a bandanna, swim another mile back through shark infested waters, climb a v high cliff and be first.

(Sorry this is all text but all the Flintstone type newspapers of the time have been lost).

Or maybe not so easy. Bearing in mind that any of the other competitors would smash your egg, or your head, as soon as look at you if you were in the lead, the sharks were always in nut nipping mood and were most unlikely to settle for salty broken eggs and you may well have to climb the cliff being pelted with unspeakables from rival tribes above, success was by no means assured.

Sod you and your egg I would say.

Assuming, though, that some champ had the luck to get to the egg cup first with his egg unscrambled, his sponsor then set off round the island shouting

'I Am The King, I Am The King,
EE Eye Addio,
I Am The King'

Or something similar. Just so nobody missed it

And promptly milked his kingly privileges like hell for a year.




Here Endeth Part The First.

Tune in again tomorrow, unless, of course, you have something better to do.

BJ

EASTER ISLAND. DAY ONE

Dawn Over Easter Island

Woke to the sound of Pacific breakers only having switched the aircon off about 4 am. Too efficient. Outside my room, dawn was breaking. (It breaks quite late, about 8.30, so I didn't even have to get up early)

Cool or what?















Hanga Roa

Spent the morning in the town, Hanga Roa, and saw my first statue on the prom. First of many pics. Counting an average of four statues to the group I must have pics of around 2000 of them. So if you get me mad, you will have to sit through them all!

As for history, Easter Island has a fascinating one, too long to put in a blog but the web has loads of stuff if you are interested. So I will just give you tasters.

Easter Island is called Rapa Nui by the locals. A statue is called a moai. A platform for statues is an Ahu. Just so you know what the hell I am taking about. The town is Hanga Roa.



Hanga Roa is a strange place, very spread out but really laid back.

I loved it, poking about in the shops and stuff.

Had a rush of blood and nearly bought a four foot replica moai. I thought it was hollow and or plastic til I tried to pick it up! Solid stone. That would have really kippered the hand luggage allowance. Altho the rule seems to be if three of you can carry it, it is OK as hand baggage.


Road regulations in Hanga Roa are fairly flexible.

Drivers doors appear to be optional











Just don't ask me how this one is legal










Parking is either parallel with or at
right angles to the kerb.

Or both at once.








Or you can always go by horse.

There are apparently more horses than people on Rapa Nui. I kept forgetting to ask 'Why?'

They don't eat them and this is the only rider I saw.

If anybody knows, let me know.




Ahu Akivi

After lunch, taken outside in the shade to the sound of Pacific breakers, my first trip. First stop was Ahu Akivi, the ahu with seven moai looking out to sea. A bit inland so no sound of Pacific breakers.You've all seen it I am sure.

BUT.

All the moai on the island,except Ahu Akivi, look inland to protect and intimidate the population.

They are part of the tribal chiefs system to keep the hoi polloi in order. So the kings can keep all the fish.

These seven represent the seven wise men who were sent by the King of Hiva, to the west, where the Rapa Nui believe they come from.

They were sent to check out Rapa Nui to see if it was OK for immigrants.

They sent back word it was fine so they are shown looking out to sea to look out for the 2000 immigrants from Hiva who were coming in two huge canoes.

King of Hiva I and II presumably.

(I only write this stuff, I don't make it up. Well, not much of it anyway)

Caves

Also visited a cave which didn't photograph well at all.

Each family had their own secret cave where they buried their valuables (like fish hooks) and to which they retired in time of inter tribal punch ups, inter clan punch ups and raids by slavers from Peru.

Hence the slavers only got half the population which was good.

Unfortunately they got the people in charge of reading and writing so, as they never came back, no one now knows what the the Rapa Nui script means.

It has 120 characters which seem to be used in combination to produce 12,000 of, what may be, words.

The script is quite attractive though. The local traders carve the script onto tablets of wood which are then burnished. I suppose that if enough carvers carve enough scripts, sooner or later some are going to make sense. Although no one will know.

Still it is comforting to know that the tablet I bought just might contain Hamlets 'Yorick' speech or, better still,

'Mourinho is a pillock'

Dinner and bed to the sound of the Pacific breakers. (last time, honest)

Are you looking forward to Day Two?

I am and I've been there already.

BJ

FRIDAY 2ND MARCH 2007

Sleeping Sickness

Been a bit odd the last two days. Nothing specific, just a bit of a headache but, boy, can I sleep. Racked up 12 hours on Wednesday night/Thursday morning and another 12 Thursday night/Friday morning. Till 1230 lunchtime both days. Plus, had a nap this afternoon. Amazing. Anyway, I seem to be back to normal(ish) now so see what tomorrow brings.

Money

Cash unit here is the Chilean peso and you get about 1000 Ch$ to the pound sterling. Notes in common use are are 20,000, 10,000, 5000, 2000 and 1000 Ch$. There 100 centavos to the Ch$. Coins are 500, 100, 50, 20, 10, 5, 2 and 1 centavos. I made myself laugh on Wednesday. I was going to change some money and there was a row of Change Bureaux. Some offered 533 centavos to the US$, some 535, and one, top dog was offering 536. Bingo thinks JT, cool killing here. Changed US$ 100. Work out the big killing. It might have bought me an envelope. A small one. In the sale.

(The Same Apartment One Week Later)

Back from Easter Island now. That week went quick didnt it?

So here are the early hilites.

Hand Luggage
All over Santiago airport are signs telling you that the limit for hand luggage is 8 kg and the bag has to fit through the gauge provided. Forget it! One guy had TWO bags, neither of which would fit thro the gauge, lashed together on a trolley. One 10 year old boys backsac was so heavy that he had to lean forward to walk and presumably had to lean on a wall when he stopped for oxygen. Or else flat on his back he would be. I think I am beginning to sound like Yoda out of Star Wars.

Getting There
Flight was fine. I was lucky enough to get a seat at the front of cattle class, ie the one with double legroom. Own TV screen and watched The Queen with Helen Mirren. (No, smarty pants, me and Helen Mirren didnt sit together and peep at HRH through the first class curtain. You know who you are.) Also watched half of Casino Royale but the machine broke before I got to the end. Hmmm. I wonder if the baddie got away with it? Frustrating not knowing isnt it.

Easter Island Airport
Dis embarked and were instructed to enter the airport across the tarmac via Gate No 1. Not difficult to spot although it wasnt numbered. There is only one. Locals coming home were greeted with smiles and tears from their waiting families actually on the tarmac (H and SE please note). Not too dangerous tho as it would be easy enough to spot a Boeing at Easter Island International. There is only one at a time.

Proceded to Arrivals and Baggage Reclaim. Carousel No 1 obviously. The stuff the locals bring home. Not surprising for the residents of an island where the nearest inhabited land is 1000 km away and that is Pitcairn Island, not noted for its vast export potential. It was a bit like a nightmare where the stock of your local Argos passed before you. Clothes airer, Ali Baba basket (lid secured by gaffer tape), a TV, a cuddly toy, fondue set. OK I made the last two up but you get the drift.

Left the airport by Arrivals Gate 1 and whisked off to hotel. The one I was in was the furthest from the airport, took all of 10 minutes. Everything is centered on the town ,only one town so it would be difficult for it to be centered anywhere else. Checked in, sandwich and welcome drink (pisco sour) and to bed lulled to sleep by the sound of Pacific breakers......and then aircon.

Better get this posted now. More with pics as soon as.

PS Check out The Cheese Empanada. Kevin stole my thunder with The Big Phone.